The Problem with Keeping Score

Photo by Daniel Weber

When I was in high school, one of my friends and I were selected to compete in a writing competition.  It was an honor just to be invited to participate, and my friend took it very seriously.  Something about the situation provoked my competitive side, and I wanted to beat him in the competition.  I didn't even know what that meant, but I wanted it.  Badly.

I talked to another friend who was also a writer--what could I do to prepare?  He gave me the best advice:

Write from the heart.

If I wrote from the heart, then I was unstoppable.  It didn't matter if I won or lost because I would have been true to myself.  If I didn't write from the heart, I would have lost more than a competition.

We never really found out how we did--neither one of us won the first place.  But I gained a way to tame my competitive urges: listen to my heart.  It has helped me avoid burnout in situations where others have not been so lucky, enabled me to participate in numerous activities when time management posed a challenge, and pushed me to constantly do more.

For a couple of reasons, I track my activities.  And I still struggle from time to time and have nagging thoughts--the ones where I calculate my score.  And compare it to others.  And want to declare a competition that I. Will. Win.  Whether it's true or not, feeling like I do more than others doesn't encourage me to keep doing what I do.  In fact, it makes me wonder if I'm being a doormat by doing so much for "nothing" in return.  Talk about ugly thoughts!  

As long as I give freely, I receive freely.  If I keep score--especially if I talk about my score--then I've lost.  What do you think?