Who Cares for the Leaders?

Photo by whittlz

“I’ve been talking to my team members and trying to show an interest in them personally. They never ask me how I’m doing personally though. What’s up with that?”

I’ll admit: I thought it was an odd question from a development manager when I first heard it. Leadership is focusing on others more than yourself, right? I thought leaders whose people ask how they’re doing regularly are lucky and rare.

Not long after that, a group of managers shared what kind of culture they wanted for their organization and the things they would like to see their boss do in support of it. Courageously, they asked for a change in behaviors to emphasize caring for employees over work statuses. Past examples of where this didn’t happen were brought up, and the conversation became tense. The leader wanted to be better and struggled with the ask.

I don’t know if he was cared for by his people in that moment.

Accepting that the people in charge are human can be hard. I remember my family vacation to Disney World after I finished second grade. We were walking around Epcot when we ran into my schoolteacher. What was she doing at Disney World?? Teachers don’t live in classrooms apparently. They too enjoy family vacations. I was weirded out by that brief encounter.

Realizing that the people in charge are, in fact, people can be jarring. We love to think that leaders are better than us mere mortals. We dream them up to put others first, make rational decisions, and model ideal behaviors for others to follow. That’s a big expectation for leaders to live up to.

While we hope leaders have more wisdom and mastery, they will not be perfect. And as we progress in our careers and potentially step into leadership roles, we will not be perfect for others.

There’s an upside to recognizing the humanity of our leaders and embracing our imperfections as leaders: we can connect and work better together. I find that people DO care about leaders even if they don’t inquire directly about how they’re doing. Sharing more about yourself and what’s going on for you can build trust.

Leaders can go a step further in enabling their people to care for them in a different way too. Invite people to share their insights and ideas so they can shape vision or design solutions. Doing so can dramatically enhance delivery for customers and foster a stronger workforce. And it relieves leaders of the pressures to be perfect in their own thinking and make perfect decisions. We care about those we collaborate with. Create opportunities for your teams to collaborate with you and seek ways to collaborate with your leaders.