To Do: Be Present and Listen
Photo by SarahInDisguise
“And when will you do that by?”
“Uh, lunch time today. No, tomorrow.”
The vibe in the room was flat. Reviewing pending tasks, assigning owners, and determining due dates was painful for the group. It was the fourth meeting I’d attended in the last week that was focused on forwarding action, each with different sets of people.
One meeting was supposed to be an open dialogue on topics and questions attendees had brainstormed. The facilitator was keen on people leaving with takeaways from the session and regularly asked, “what can you do [about that problem]?”. Not many people spoke in the session.
A third meeting was a SWOT analysis, and unfortunately the group didn’t have much time to delve into it. The question, “how can we use our strengths to address our weaknesses?” quickly became “so what are we doing next?” and kept us at a surface level understanding. Our action items address symptoms.
Another was a planning meeting for a big event coming up. Managers were planning what they needed to do in preparation. And what they’d need to do at the big event. While there, they wanted to run a survey to ask their direct reports what else they should be doing as managers.
There’s an overload of DOING in group conversations nowadays. I am all for forwarding the action—it’s a key component in coaching. Without doing, conversations are just talk. That might be nice in the short-term, but it doesn’t create the change people are looking for in their lives. However, forwarding the action must be coupled with another key component to be most effective: deepening the learning.
We tend to move to action too quickly in our meetings, and it’s short-circuiting the group’s creativity and ability to commit meaningfully. Tasks are piled onto people’s plates, and they’re generated from quick analyses of obvious problems. It’s whack-a-mole solutions—temporary fixes that will lead to more and more actions needed later. The deeper system view is absent. We may have gathered data but skipped generating insights. Relationships with one another weaken as we focus on the work and not the people around us; groups become too busy to connect with others, and internal frustration grows.
We can bring up the question of action later in conversations. It’s as simple as “what are you taking away from this?” in the last few minutes. The relationships in the room need attention. Be present and listen to the words being said. Listen to what the body language is saying. Listening to the tones of voice and what’s not being said in words. People want to be heard. Not another thing to do.
